I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize