I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
