They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
