i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
