you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
