all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize