yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
