ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize