im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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