You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
