i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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