You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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