I want to make a zoo with you.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
