I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
