I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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