dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
