And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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