my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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