everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
