Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
