i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
