That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
