I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
