Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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