Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
only you would photoshop your dick
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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