come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
