hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
