whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
