It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
