I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
