how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
