coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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