go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
