Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish i was in the wii world.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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