I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
