That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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