she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
