I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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