Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
