lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
