they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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