This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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