thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
