I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
