I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
