we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
