Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
