I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
