Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
