i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
