I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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