Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
