About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
