then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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