I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How external is "for external use only"?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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