So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
