All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
