Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
