Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
