at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
