He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
