I want to make a zoo with you.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
