My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
