I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
