I just made out with a guy for $7.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
