maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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