I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
