I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
