I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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