We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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