Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
