Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
