i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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